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Eight ways to become a more compassionate leader
16 min read | Christoph Niewerth | Article | Career development | Managing a team
Most of us would consider ourselves to be compassionate and empathetic in our personal lives but would you say that you’re the same way at work? Christoph Niewerth shares his insight on why today’s leaders should practise compassionate leadership.
Compassion and empathy are key aspects of modern leadership in our evolving work landscape. Leading with compassion also helps teams thrive.
Everyone can build on the above four traits to become the compassionate leader that today’s world of work requires. Adjusting your language, creating a safe team culture, listening actively and showing your appreciation for the views of others are among the things you can do to lead with compassion.
Find out more detail about all the traits of compassionate leaders below.
For expert advice on the next steps in your career, contact your local consultant.
Traditionally, there has sometimes been a difference between how we treat those we work with, and those we live and spend time with outside of the workplace. However, this must change, and it needs to change quickly.
Many of us are so accustomed to the idea that the most effective leaders are tough and firm. We mistakenly think that to show higher levels of compassion towards others is to ‘go soft’ or be a pushover when it comes to leadership roles. In fact, research found that 80% of leaders misunderstand compassion for “being nice, or soft”, or “loving everyone”.
In reality, leading with compassion can be quite the opposite. It is compassionate who have been the real driving force behind some of the most progressive and forward-thinking brands in the world. As Janice Marturano wrote for Forbes: ‘compassion very often requires great courage and strength.’ Compassionate leaders understand that it is, in fact, compassion that ultimately fuels innovation and creativity, and it, therefore, guides everything they do.
Take Microsoft, for example. Their CEO Satya Nadella, has described empathy as being “at the centre of the agenda for innovation” at the company. So, you could argue that compassion has never been a more important component of leadership than it is in today’s world of work. It is compassion that can really drive our organisations forward.
Before we take a look at what ‘compassionate leadership’ is, let's first explore what ‘compassion’ is. The Oxford English Dictionary defines it as, ‘…the feeling or emotion, when a person is moved by the suffering or distress of another, and by the desire to relieve it…” So, in a nutshell, compassion is about appreciating the struggles of others and feeling compelled to help them.
So, now we know what compassion is – what about the compassionate leadership model? Among the observers to share their definitions is LinkedIn CEO Jeff Weiner, who has said it is “about taking the time to put yourself in another person’s shoes.” Meanwhile, compassionate leadership has been described by the Harvard Business Review, as “…the intent to contribute to the happiness and wellbeing of others. A compassionate leader has a genuine interest in seeing their people not just perform and increase profits, but thrive.”
As the world of work evolves, it’s becoming increasingly important that we all take steps to adapt our approach to how we lead our teams. All the changes that we’re witness to in the workplace demand that we, as leaders, are more compassionate and supportive in the way we lead our people.
Being a compassionate leader is about being able to:
Ultimately compassionate leadership and management is about you, as a leader, doing everything you can to ensure the team around you thrives. It’s about ensuring they have all the support they need to be creative, to problem solve, to push themselves out of their comfort zones and to learn. When you take a truly compassionate approach to leadership, you will ensure that your team will not only adapt to this constant backdrop of change but will thrive in it.
We’ve established that being a compassionate leader isn’t about being ‘soft’. Instead, it’s about possessing the leadership skills, vision and dedication necessary to build a supportive and collaborative culture, in which all employees thrive in the long term. It’s about putting the development of your people at the heart of everything that you do.
A compassionate leader is one that is aware of their own strengths and weaknesses (and invites feedback on them) and how they are perceived by others. Compassionate leaders also have compassion for themselves, which is an important element.
Compassionate leaders understand the impact of their own actions and behaviours on their team. They also know that they’re more likely to get better results from individual team members if they can understand what truly drives each of them.
Compassionate leaders understand that different people do things differently – and that there isn’t just one way to do something well. They also know that they don’t know everything, which opens doors to creativity and innovative thinking within their teams. So, compassionate leaders tend to think of themselves as the conductor of the orchestra, working to help each member of their team thrive and overcome challenges.
Compassionate leaders are good at identifying what feedback needs to be provided and then delivering it in a way that is constructive and impactful. Being a compassionate leader is about giving feedback that opens the recipient’s eyes up to the changes they need to make in order to improve. Ultimately, compassionate leaders can push their teams out of their comfort zones and hold them accountable for their work, helping them thrive in the long term.
The good news is that we can all learn to become more compassionate leaders and build on the above four traits. Here are a few steps you can take:
Self-reflection is often the first step to becoming a more compassionate leader. Think about all the times when you may have tended to revert to less-than-desirable tactics when managing or leading your people.
For example, perhaps a project deadline is fast approaching and a member of your team plays a crucial role. So, you ask them “…are you going to get it done on time?” Instead, in this situation, a more compassionate approach would be to ask them something like: “…the deadline is next week – do you have everything you need to get it done in time?”
Articulating your support for your team will be far more helpful and constructive, particularly during busy times when the pressure is on. So, take some time to reflect on how you interact, and importantly, the words you use, when interacting with your team.
Using your words in a way that shows your understanding of how your people feel in certain challenging situations is important. It can make an immense difference to how well you work as a unit.
The following phrases strike at the heart of compassionate leadership as a way of empathising with their situation, rather than merely sympathising:
Language like this is key to communicating to your workers that you genuinely share their pain, instead of merely claiming to understand their pain.
Part of being a compassionate leader is about bringing your authentic self to the office every day. This will allow your people to feel comfortable in asking you for support, thus building a culture of trust and learning within your team.
So, don’t be afraid to show that you are a ‘real’ person, including being honest about your shortcomings and skills gaps. Remember, your role as a leader is to be the ‘conductor of your orchestra’, bringing each part together at the right time to create something great. As a leader, you are on just as much of a learning and development journey as your employees.
Clear your mind, put your personal views to one side, and try to see situations from the perspective of your people. Appreciating the views of others can bring real benefits to your team and your wider workplace.
Always attempt to envisage yourself in the shoes of your team members in every challenging scenario you face. Doing this will help you build a more inclusive team culture, which can only ever be a good thing for both your team members and the wider business. It will also help you better understand and plan for what exactly your team members need from you in order to overcome challenges, adapt to change and solve problems.
Occasional errors and mistakes are to be expected. What’s important is how we learn from them and refine our approach for next time. Compassionate leaders know this and take steps to create a psychologically safe culture within their teams. They help everyone feel empowered and supported to try new things and take moderate risks, even if they make mistakes and things don’t go as planned.
Show your employees that you ‘have their back’ and can (and will) step in to provide any assistance or support they might need. Don’t be afraid to ask them what they need from you, and how you can help them to ensure they get a particular task done to a high standard and by the deadline. Also, show an interest in their personal lives, grabbing coffee or lunch together from time to time, and asking them how their weekend was, for example.
It might sound obvious, but an essential part of being a more compassionate leader is actively listening to what your people have to say. To put it like the late author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey, you need to listen with the intent to understand the person speaking, rather than merely intent to reply. So, ask questions, paraphrase and clarify your employee’s key points and, importantly, reflect on the conversation afterwards.
Giving feedback well is an important element of compassionate leadership as it opens the recipient's eyes up to the changes they need to make in order to thrive. Importantly, a compassionate leader will always explain that they are ultimately there to help their team improve.
The most effective leaders know that it’s perfectly possible to be compassionate, whilst also genuinely holding their team members to account for their performance. If you’re keen to understand how you can get better at giving feedback, you must ensure that the feedback you give is:
Never has a compassionate approach to leadership been more important. The world of work is evolving, and the demands it is placing on us all are in a constant state of flux. So, as leaders, we must do everything we can to ensure every person on our team has everything they need to thrive, both now and in the future.
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Christine Wright, Senior Vice President, Hays US
After completing his degree as a qualified industrial engineer, Christoph Niewerth joined Ascena (former Hays) as an account manager in 1999. After progressing to department manager, he later became a divisional and branch manager. In 2008 he was appointed Director of Contracting.
In January 2012, Mr. Niewerth joined the Board of Directors and was appointed Chief Operating Officer. He is responsible for the Sales specialisms IT, Finance, Legal, Retail and Sales & Marketing in Germany as well as the company’s affiliates in Switzerland, Austria, Denmark, Sweden and Russia. He is also responsible for Talent Solutions, public affairs and strategic customer development.
